How to tell your friends and family about your Elopement

Planning a big traditional wedding really isn’t for you, you would like to just have an intimate experience with the focus on your love and commuting your life to each other in a meaningful and intentional way. 

When you take the courage and you decide to elope, telling people about your decision is the biggest barrier you might have. 

Eloping gives you the freedom of celebrating in the way that is the most comfortable and meaningful to you. 

You can take your closest friends and family with you and have an intimate gathering 

But how are you are you doing this without offending anyone who isn’t invited?

Here are some 7 tips on how to go about it. 

  1. write down the reasons WHY you want to elope

  2. Tell your friends and family face to face

  3. Prepare them long before

  4. Involve them in the process

  5. Let them be a part of your actual elopement

  6. Celebrate with them before or after

  7. Surprise them when you get home

1.Write down all the reasons WHY you want to elope 

If you are really clear on your reasons, it’s easier for you to stand your ground if your friends or family get offended. I want to encourage you to not let other people’s opinions and expectations affect your decision of having the best day of your life be the most special day of your life. 

Tell them the day is about YOU and YOUR LOVE and you want nothing to take away from that focus. You deserve a day that is exactly how you want input to be. 


The most common reasons for eloping: 

We want to invest money in an experience instead of an expensive wedding 

We want a just us experience 

We don’t want the stress of planning a big wedding

We want to invest in our future 

We don’t want to wait to get married until we have saved up enough money 

We want to do something we love on our wedding day 

We want something intimate and meaningful 

We want to be able to actually spend time with each other on our weddingday 

We want to enjoy our day instead of worrying about other peoples expectations 

We want to say our vows at a location that is meaningful for us 

2.Tell your friends and family in person that you are eloping 

Communication is key, if you explain to them the reasons you have for doing what you doing, it might be easier for them to understand and be supportive.

If you tell them face to face or on a video call or phone call, they can hear your excitement about this. 

3.Prepare them long before you actually elope

If you and your partner have always known that you want to elope, talk about it even before you get engaged or right after the engagement. 

This way it can help your friends and family to be mentally prepared and they are not super surprised when you actually do it. 

4.Involve them in the process

You can involve your friends and family in the planning process. 

Invite all the girls in your circle and go dress shopping with them or have a first look with them at home. 

You can have a bachelorette and bachelor party where you go on a little weekend getaway. 

5.Let them be a part of your actual elopement

A beautiful way to let them be a part of your actual elopement day is to have a little book that you give to them a few weeks or months before and they can write their wishes or little messages for you in there to read after your ceremony. 

You can also have them record a voice memo or a video for you.

Let them give you special items like a self made “we eloped sign” or you wear a piece of jewelry from a family member. 

6.Celebrate with your friends and family before or after

You can have a little celebration with no pressure like a barbecue in a public place or your backyard, a restaurant gathering or a reception. 

You can also invite them to your civil wedding before your elopement so they are part of your legal weddingday. 

You can also have a celebration with them afterwards and show photos or videos from your day. 

a fun way to invite them is to write on the invite “we are going to say I DO, then we will party with you!” 

In both of these scenarios they will feel involved and know that you care about them. 

7.Surprise your friends and family when you get home

Have a little gathering with friends and family when you get home, tell them you want to show them your vacation photos and show them either an album, a slideshow or a video of your weddingday instead. 

This way they will see what an amazing weddingday you had, how fun it was and how meaningful an elopement can be. 

Definitely let your photographer document every single part and detail of your day, so you can show your friends and family but also have the memories for yourself.

I hope these tips help you to make the decision for an incredible intimate elopement of your dreams and realize that the pure happiness and the memories will last longer than the guilt of not bringing everyone with you because at the end of the day the only thing that matters is your love. 

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Plan Your elopement in 5 simple steps